A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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