I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
the day after is always just damage control
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
