The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
