google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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