Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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