just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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