I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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