We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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