the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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