The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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