Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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