I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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