I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
