Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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