my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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