If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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