we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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