Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Randomize
