Texts From Last Night

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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..

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  (781): Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22.. http://tfl.nu/txsi
  Replies (9) Good night (1418) Bad night (577)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I am in shape. i keep telling you that.

  (1-313): View more from Michigan

  Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."

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  (313): I am in shape. i keep telling you that. (1-313): Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape." http://tfl.nu/2t6h
  Replies (28) Good night (921) Bad night (3561)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.

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  (972): If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works. http://tfl.nu/grey
  Replies (62) Good night (1625) Bad night (2927)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...

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  (717): If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one... http://tfl.nu/slb8
  Replies (23) Good night (5915) Bad night (715)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad

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  (970): Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad http://tfl.nu/i5ms
  Replies (30) Good night (929) Bad night (4386)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.

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  (401): I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy. http://tfl.nu/4ar4
  Replies (38) Good night (5893) Bad night (1198)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.

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  (206): I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well. http://tfl.nu/k69f
  Replies (3) Good night (2419) Bad night (609)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.

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  (570): He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this. http://tfl.nu/9z6q
  Replies (18) Good night (4290) Bad night (990)
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  (716): View more from New York

  IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.

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  (716): IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again. http://tfl.nu/cfdh
  Replies (7) Good night (2127) Bad night (864)
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  (340): View more from US Virgin Islands

  I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..

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  (340): I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting.. http://tfl.nu/wypp
  Replies (4) Good night (2082) Bad night (699)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother

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  (978): Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother http://tfl.nu/l2x9
  Replies (3) Good night (612) Bad night (1524)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.

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  (716): Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum. http://tfl.nu/mwlv
  Replies (3) Good night (1272) Bad night (532)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them

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  (706): I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them http://tfl.nu/sm11
  Replies (10) Good night (1511) Bad night (677)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck

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  (306): woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck http://tfl.nu/v8nv
  Replies (3) Good night (394) Bad night (280)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.

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  (248): Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin. http://tfl.nu/4lxb
  Replies (3) Good night (553) Bad night (290)

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