Texts From Last Night

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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic

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  (402): god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic http://tfl.nu/9rrm
  Replies (2) Good night (1248) Bad night (537) Order T-Shirt
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.

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  (816): I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins. http://tfl.nu/76g5
  Replies (8) Good night (2882) Bad night (433) Order T-Shirt
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now

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  (502): I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now http://tfl.nu/ys0t
  Replies (10) Good night (2191) Bad night (924) Order T-Shirt
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  (858): View more from California

  I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.

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  (858): I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star. http://tfl.nu/5mxp
  Replies (67) Good night (3834) Bad night (2157) Order T-Shirt
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  (813): View more from Florida

  He had one of those small greek statue penises

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  (813): He had one of those small greek statue penises http://tfl.nu/uvv6
  Replies (33) Good night (651) Bad night (5301) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.

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  (850): The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man. http://tfl.nu/ikii
  Replies (36) Good night (4962) Bad night (1163) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..

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  (732): only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package.. http://tfl.nu/0izj
  Replies (37) Good night (6827) Bad night (624) Order T-Shirt
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.

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  (781): I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots. http://tfl.nu/2a1b
  Replies (23) Good night (879) Bad night (3983)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.

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  (214): Why does it always end up with me crying in my car. http://tfl.nu/bhj2
  Replies (10) Good night (536) Bad night (2955) Order T-Shirt
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen

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  (913): I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen http://tfl.nu/cr8z
  Replies (5) Good night (1723) Bad night (506) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.

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  (570): I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in. http://tfl.nu/wp3g
  Replies (6) Good night (1172) Bad night (390) Order T-Shirt
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  (561): View more from Florida

  She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.

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  (561): She thinks Jesus was an astronaut. http://tfl.nu/koey
  Replies (11) Good night (761) Bad night (401) Order T-Shirt
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!

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  (210): Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!! http://tfl.nu/6efz
  Replies (9) Good night (365) Bad night (952) Order T-Shirt
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  (779): View more from Illinois

  He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.

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  (779): He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud. http://tfl.nu/emwq
  Replies (3) Good night (812) Bad night (180) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...

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  (443): I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ... http://tfl.nu/71on
  Replies (1) Good night (117) Bad night (398)

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