he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
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gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
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I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle