smell my finger.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
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He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
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Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?