careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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