rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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