I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
