i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
i now understand why vodka
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
