what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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