ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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