I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
