I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
