We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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