where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
