He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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