But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Just high enough for therapy.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
