I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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