Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
