why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
