I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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