she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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