I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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