where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
