Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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