he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
