I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize