11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
