Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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