Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
