The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
