i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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