Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
