I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
