Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
