yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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