Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
