Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
