We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
