How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
