I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
