Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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