She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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