dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
We are two peas in an std pod
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
