I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
