Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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