Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
