We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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