Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
