bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
