lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
