dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
