I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
