spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
