I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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